I'm all "whatevs", and life's all "yeah?" so then I'm all "fuck you, life." and it's all "Pffft, you wish."

Life's just a lil' bitch.

This fucking tool ran me off the road at 70mph on 264 this morning and kept going. Then proceeded to drive no more than 2 cars ahead if me (being in a rush really got him far!) all the way to...you guessed it...my job. Apparently, I work with this jackhole.

"There's a dead hooker under the bed.  What would Jesus do?"

...is that a puppet doesn't get to choose which hand goes up his ass. :-/

Don't get arrested in Japan. Dude, a 99% conviction rate is scary high!