The subject of leadership and management came up at work and someone made the claim that behind the drive toward leadership was envy. I didn't quite buy the argument, but couldn't articulate why. Being as I'm deeply broken inside, I had no recourse but to begin dissecting the emotion of envy and examining what it is.

First, I started writing down a list of emotions that are often conflated with envy; jealousy, admiration, resentment, egalitarianism, ambition, and greed. Then I set about understanding how to distinguish each from envy.

I noticed that these emotions shared a common set of attributes. Each seems to have a subject (the person feeling the emotion), a rival (the person in possession of the thing in question), and an object (the thing in question).

Jealousy, it seems, can be distinguished from envy by virtue of the focus of the subject. If the focus of the subject is the rival, then it's envy, but if the focus is the object, it's jealousy. Put differently, if you have the attention of a beautiful girl and I want that attention for myself, I am jealous. If I'm just unhappy that you are getting that attention, it's envy.

Admiration can be distinguished from envy by virtue of what would satisfy the emotional need. If a copy of the object would suffice to make me happy, then it was admiration. If I won't be happy without having the original, then it was envy. For example, if you have a great job and I work hard so that I can get a great job, too, then I admired you. If, instead, I would only be happy if I got you removed from the job and took your place, then I was experiencing envy.

Egalitarianism is often called another name for class envy or wealth envy. While I think a lot of people hide their envy behind an egalitarian mask, I don't believe they are the same thing. I posit that if the subject would be more content to see both him and his rival without the object, then is is legitimately egalitarian. If, however, he would be equally or more content if he possessed the object instead of his rival, then his egalitarianism is a charade. The latter is envy. So, if you have a mansion and a limo and I would prefer that no one have such things, then I am thinking as an egalitarian. If I complain about your mansion and limo, but would secretly like to have one myself, it's simple envy.

On reflection, I found that resentment, ambition, and greed are not dichotomous with envy. One can have a resentful envy, a greedy jealousy, or an ambitious admiration. These emotions don't sit beside but separate from envy and the like, but instead enhance or modify them.

This brought questions to my mind:

1. Does a desire to challenge oneself have a rival and an object?
2. Does a desire for power inherently have a rival?
3. Does envy harm the subject to feel it?
4. Does envy harm the rival who is made aware?
5. Is envy localized to perceived competitors?
6. Does focus on rival or object modify admiration in a meaningful way like it does for envy and jealousy?

None of this really directly addresses the question that was originally posed, but now I'm more confidently able to discuss it.

And yeah, I'm a weirdo. Deal with it.